The Discipline of the Magical Diary
Many ritual magicians, psychonauts, and meditators have kept diaries as they explore the inner realms of psyche and spirit. Why is this practice seemingly ubiquitous among these practitioners? I will discuss the importance of the discipline of keeping a diary in this blog post. First, I will discuss the importance of this essential discipline using excerpts and examples from John St. John, found in The Practice of the Magical Diary, edited by James Wasserman. Then, I will discuss how these examples have come true in my own practice and explain why all serious practitioners should keep a diary.
In John St. John, Aleister Crowley (A.C.) shared his observations and experiences gained during a major magical operation in Paris, performed to achieve the K&C of the HGA. (concepts to be elaborated upon in another post) The work is an edited version of his diary during the operation. These entries include his frustrations with meditating, “Rubbish! Everything perfectly normal. Difficult, though, to keep the mantram [mantra] going.” (page 22) His doubts as the operation progressed are also there, such as, “. . . if anything does come of this great magical experiment - which I’m beginning to doubt . . .” Finally, his triumphs are also included, reaching a crescendo on the twelfth day of the operation, where A.C. seems to have reached a new state of mystical ecstasy. This entry ends with, “Being entered into the Silence, let me abide in the Silence!”
Thus, from A.C.’s example, we see that the magical diary should include an honest record of one’s experiences. If you struggle to sit down and meditate, write it in the diary. Expound on these difficulties by describing the feelings and thoughts that make it difficult. Patterns may emerge, which may illuminate you later. Frustrations, challenges, and failures all have their place in the diary. We may only want to focus on our successes, but as A.C. mentions in John St. John, “Do I not know that every error is a necessary step on the path?” The falls and troughs of the spiritual path are as important as its peaks.
Initially, my own diary entries were sporadic, with occasional lengthy breaks between them. Within a year or two, I committed to writing a daily entry. My diary became a constant reminder to do the Work. The diary was a friend who offered gentle admonishment whenever I did not do the work and a faithful witness when I did. I might lie to myself and believe that the Work was still progressing, but the diary did not lie. And in those periods where my diary entries are full and frequent, my spiritual work has progressed rapidly. The more complete and frequent my entries, the better I have understood that period of my life, and how its circumstances and threads have been part of a larger spiritual arc.
Additionally, the content of spiritual experiences is much like that of dreams. Regardless of the importance and vividness of the content, it often fades quickly. The details of even the most life-changing experiences can dissipate like fog in the morning sun. However, the words of a clearly written record do not fade away. Its words can be re-read years and decades later, allowing the fullness of a spiritual experience’s meaning to be ascertained as your knowledge and wisdom grow. Thus, the diary and the analysis it facilitates is a vital part of the Magnum Opus. Keep one, and go; learn to abide in the Silence.